31 January, 2006

January 31st


....just. Its 12:30pm and I am waiting for the washing to finish so I can put the clothes in the dryer before I go to bed. Thought I'd write a little here and add another spread from my sketchbook.
My mum is getting better so I am a little less anxious now...the doctors need to do more tests so she can't leave yet. She is smiling and talking just as she used to and that makes me feel that everything is going to be alright.
I feel a little dizzy from going and coming everyday. It seems like ages since i have picked up a brush... i doodle a little and jot down a few ideas in a miniature notebook I have...is that selfish? I know I should be focussing all my attention on my mum and dad, but I just need a little dose of "my world" to get me through it.... it gives me comfort I guess...
anyway...
must see to clothes...and must get some sleep...

x
Maya

4 comments:

fp said...

Of course you are not selfish hun, everybody needs some 'me time'. From what you have written you have been a tower of strength.
Excellent illustrations as always :)

tlchang said...

Your sketch books are lovely! Do you paint right in them?

And no, it's not selfish - "worry" or undeviating attention can make us feel like we're doing *something* but I believe the best things we actually CAN do are more along the lines of keeping ourselves as stable and undepleted as possible for when our constructive energies are actually needed. Sketching in your sketchbook in no way diminishes your love and care for your mother. (well, unless you are doing that at the expense of paying *any* attention in their direction, but that is not what is happening!)

Continued good wishes!

Gretel said...

(Coming in as 'Echo' as usual). If you don't find a refuge you won't be able to be strong for your mum. I think escaping to your sketchbook is one of the best things you can do, to stay as the Maya she knows and loves.

You may even find that drawing under such tense circumstances produces new ideas and/or better work.

Extending a hug across the sea...

Gail said...

... a hug from me too Maya